Midnight Snack! Tuna Mac & Cheese!

Well, hey there ladies and gentlemen! It’s just Jess tonight, er, well, this morning. Avery’s out partying it up for Kody’s twenty-first birthday. I’m too broke and don’t feel very well, so I didn’t join in on the festivities. Instead, I got hungry for carbs so I rummaged through my pantry and fridge, and pulled out what I thought sounded good. Here’s what I came up with:

So, I began.
NOTE TO THE READER: I am HORRIBLE at portioning for one. Keep in mind that leftovers are never, ever considered a bad thing! (At least not in my book.)
Anyway, boil your water, throw in the noodles and leave the bow-tie noodles in for about twelve minutes. I usually just take a noodle out every few minutes and try them until they are exactly how I like them.
Once your noodles are to your liking, strain ‘em, turn the burner on a low heat setting and pour the noodles back into the pot.
Open the can of tomatoes. Honestly, you’re probably only going to use a few spoonfuls of it, so you might as well get a container to put the left overs in out as well. Unless, of course, you love tomatoes so much that you’d like to use the whole can. Go for it, killer!  I don’t like all the juice that comes with canned tomatoes, so I chose to strain them. This step is optional.
While those are straining, cut up about nine or ten decent size cubes of Velveeta.
Open your can of tuna (or pouch) and make sure you get all the excess water strained out, no one likes runny tuna.
Add the cubes of “cheese” and the tuna to the pot that your noodles are in. Please, remember to stir frequently, otherwise things don’t go very smoothly.
Being it was after midnight while finishing up my snack, I forgot to take a picture of the amount of tomato I added in. It was literally no more than two decent spoonfuls. You be the judge, I advise you to take baby steps though.

Stir until the cheese is completely melted.  (For a creamier effect, I added a small amount of milk. )

That’s it guys! A yummy bowl of carbs! Enjoy! But please, if you’re planning on getting up early the next morning, this isn’t the most optimal choice of snacks. You will feel lazy when you wake up.
Anyway, now that I’ve got a full belly and lunch for tomorrow, I’m off to bed. Hopefully Avery is having a wonderful time! We’ll be blogging again together very soon! Promise! Catch ya on the flip side!

Much love, ‘til next time!


Hey guys, it’s just Jess! Avery and I never seem to have corresponding schedules lately. BUT hopefully we’ll have lots of fun things up for you soon. Plus, I’m in need of some Avery/Jess time.

Vegetarian “Chicken” Parmesan

 Hey everyone! Just Avery today. Jess is at work. We have very opposite schedules this week :\ So you’re stuck with my crap-tastical solo-blogging!

Cooking for one sucks, doesn’t it? Here’s a recipe that I kind of just wing, since usually I’m the only person that I’m cooking for. And it nearly always comes out good.

It’s pretty simple. Spaghetti, tomato sauce, cheese, and a MorningStar Chik’n patty. (MorningStar makes veggie burgers, fake chicken, etc. Pretty good tho.)

(don’t forget the wine!)

The chik’n goes in the oven for 16 min at 375degrees F. I usually just throw it on some aluminum foil… easy clean up! :P

I have a habit of ALWAYS making too much spaghetti… This is how much I made. And I didn’t come close to eating all of it. And lord knows, I’m a fat kid at heart.

The spaghetti will boil for 12 min or so. I don’t like mine firm at all so I let it in there a little longer..

Calvin smelled something good cooking!

So by now everything should be done. Assemble your meal:

(I like a lot… and I mean a LOT of cheese!)

So, finally you should be ready to eat. Yay!

Disregard the textbooks and junk… It might be pathetic how obviously single I am by this picture, but I have no shame. =]

So, get cooking, and enjoy!

Much love, ‘til next time!

Vegetarian Burritos!

Hey guys! It’s Jess, I’m going to assume that Avery is being normal and sleeping.  We got together on Sunday for a quick dinner and homework date, but we didn’t have time to blog it! So, here I am, being an insomniac posting our vegetarian style burritos. (Warning: small amounts of wine were consumed during the making of these burritos.) This was SUPER easy and took fifteen minutes all together. Here’s everything you’ll need: 
Since were only cooking for two, as always, so we only needed about half a cup of rice and one cup of “ground beef.” Get your rice started first. One cup of water should be plenty to boil it in. This should take about ten minutes if you’re using minute rice like we chose to do.

Most of us know what rice looks like when it’s almost done, but in case you don’t here’s a picture of it almost ready:

In the meantime, start shredding up your lettuce. You don’t need much, unless you really like lettuce.  Don’t want so many dishes? Do what Avery does, she “shreds” lettuce using her hands. ;)

After the rice has been on the stove for about five minutes, go ahead and start cooking your “beef.” Since it is already precooked in the bag, it shouldn’t take long at all to heat up. Just to make sure we didn’t over cook it, we added a little water into the pan while it cooked. Important announcement: I, Jessica Kerner, am not a vegetarian (yet). I enjoy a good steak. I must tell you, as this was cooking, it smelled AMAZING. My mouth was watering. Now, back to the regularly scheduled cooking with Jess and Avery.

Pop your shells in the oven for a no more than five minutes at three hundred degrees Fahrenheit.  You want the tortilla shells to come out soft and warm to the touch, if you keep them in the oven too long, they’ll get crispy.
(Do you like our make-shift baking sheet?)

After you remove the tortilla shells from you oven place them on whatever plate you’re going to serve them on. Since Avery and I are so high class, we chose her fancy, square, yellow plates.
By this time, your ten minutes should be up and your rice should be completely done. As well as the “beef” you had simmering for the last five minutes. Go ahead and put a couple spoonfuls of rice into the middle of your tortilla.

Next, add a couple decent size spoonfuls of “beef,” but don’t overload it.
Proceed to load your burrito up with cheese. Preferably sharp cheddar for just a little twang.
Sprinkle on some lettuce.

Now, add a spoonful or two of yummy Salsa. The Texan Salsa we had was the perfect final touch for these. It is a definite must try, if you haven’t already!

We’re just going to face the facts here people; Avery and myself have never and probably will never learn the proper burrito folding skills that some people may have. So, we skipped taking a picture of that step. Just fold them up to the best of your ability.

Finally, these burritos are ready to serve!

Of course, Avery had to take a bite and a picture! That’s it. Quick, easy and completely satisfying.

'Til next time, much love!


If Jess or I don’t post anything in the next few days/weeks, it’s because we are SLAMMED with finals coming up. Not to mention, this AbPsych paper is kicking my ass!


Mini Monkey Bread!

Hey guys! Jess here, Avery’s well, I don’t know where Avery is; she’s not with me though! I got bored today and felt like baking. I rummaged through my refrigerator to see what I could find and we had biscuits. It struck me like a lightning bolt! I wanted Monkey bread!

So, I found the recipe. Now, you could go about this the long way and make the dough and all that fancy stuff, but I chose to go stick with the undomesticated way of doing things!

Here’s everything you’ll need:
Throw on some tunes, set the oven to 350 degrees and get started! I followed the recipe almost exactly, except for two parts, but we’ll get there eventually.

Melt your butter, it takes about a minute and a half for butter that has come directly out of your fridge to melt in the microwave. Stir in the cinnamon and mix it up well for about thirty seconds. ( I’m doing well with time this time around, huh?)

Instead of using a traditional pan that holds twelve muffins, i used one with six holders and they were slightly larger in size. Since I was using a larger tin, I put about two spoonfuls of the mixture in each holder.

Now, throw your cinnamon and sugar into a decent size zip lock baggy and shake it up!

I didn’t do exactly as the recipe calls for here. It say’s something about cutting the biscuits in certain amounts and putting ten in each holder. Well, I just pulled the biscuits into what looked like decent portions.

Now, toss them in the cinnamon-sugar mixture and start shakin’ again!

Next, I put about seven to eight pieces in each holder. Mind you, depending on the size that you make them and how many muffin tins you use, this will vary. Use your best judgment. I have complete faith in you!

Popped those suckers into the oven for exactly thirteen minutes!

Once the time’s up, take ‘em out and let them cool for just a minute!

Then, take your muffin tin and flip it over onto a baking sheet or something bit enough to hold them all. (Please, keep your oven mitts on for this part. IT WILL STILL BE HOT!)

Look delicious, right??? For some added flavor, I grabbed some chocolate chips we had hidden in a cabinet and threw maybe half a handful on each one. ( I have small hands.)

And that’s it! You’re finished! Treat yourself to a very yummy snack and a glass of milk!  Now, I could easily eat all six of these, but I’m sure that’s not healthy. Hopefully a few of my coworkers are hungry today. :)

By the way, these are the perfect PMS snack.

Much love! ‘Til next time!

Rainbow Cupcakes!

Hey everyone! It’s just Avery this afternoon! Jess is at school. Boo! But we will have fun anyway!

This recipe requires a back-story: one night I was a little bit intoxicated (damn wine!) and a lot bit bored. Typically, that combination is what lands people in a jail cell making 4am phone calls for bail money (no, I don’t know from experience!), but that night it worked out pretty well for me! While completely entranced by a bulletin board on Pinterest, I saw a photo of a glorious rainbow cupcake and decided at that moment that I NEEDED to learn how to make these. So I set off on YouTube and found a gazillion tutorials. I watched half of one, thought to myself “Damn, this looks simple” and raided the cabinets.

And this recipe really is simple. Because I’m not making anything from scratch. Let’s face facts right now: Betty Crocker (or Duncan Hines, if you prefer) are excellent last-minute resources. And they’re pretty good! As the saying goes— “If it ain’t broke, don’t try to fix it.” So with that disclaimer out of the way, kick off your shoes, pour a glass of wine, and let the rainbow cupcake baking commence!

Everything you will need:

I completely followed the instructions except for one thing— I didn’t use egg yolks at all. Only the whites:

So, mix your batter like you’re making a normal cake/cupcakes. Then separate it into six equal parts (or as many parts as you will have colors).

I like to do six colors. I follow the ROY G BIV thing that they teach you in pre-school, only I skip the indigo. And I’m sure everyone here has passed kindergarten, so I’m guessing I don’t need to explain color combinations to achieve secondary colors…

So now that you have your colors, you will start to layer them, starting with red, then orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple. Now that I’m typing this out, I realize that I mixed up the order of yellow/orange. Oh well!

If you have some left over batter like I did, I like to make a cupcake of a single color and marble it with another:

Put your cupcakes in the oven at 325degrees F for twenty minutes.

When your twenty minutes is up, take ‘em out!

Then transfer them to a metal cooling rack:

Looking good so far, right? Time for the icing!

Oh, and rainbow sprinkles. Because what would be more appropriate on rainbow cupcakes than rainbow sprinkles?!

A little sloppy, I know.

But they taste freaking delicious!

So there ya have it!
Final thoughts: Since these are just vanilla cupcakes and food coloring, as far as taste it’s nearly impossible to screw up. It’s really an idiot-proof recipe. If you can’t follow the instructions on the box, your family and friends probably shouldn’t let you operate a car, or an oven for that matter.
As far as making them rainbow… well, it’s an art that I have yet to master. I think I did pretty well, though! And my friends will be thrilled with them as well since I made 36 cupcakes and will certainly be needing some help to get rid of all of them!

(P.S., my gay friends love these!)

Much love! ‘Til next time!
Avery :)

Cowboy Casserole

Morning Y’all! Happy Easter! It’s just Jess this morning, up bright and early.

Last night I was home alone and wanted a quick meal, so I opened my Bisquick cookbook and this is what I found: Cowboy Casserole.  Recipe says about forty-five minutes for everything and it’s pretty accurate.

A little side note: this is not a vegetarian dish, Avery would not enjoy.

Anyway, here’s everything you’ll need (plus milk, I forgot to add it into the picture.)

Simple enough, right?

Attention! No fingers were cut during the making of this dish.

So, you’re going to brown the meat, just like the recipe calls for. For normal people, this would only take about seven minutes; but because I chose to use frozen meat it took me twice as long. Go figure.

While that was browning, I made the dough. Bisquick dough is SO much quicker than the dough Avery and I made in our last project. Although, making dough from scratch is much more entertaining.

I followed pretty true to the recipe for all of this.  Although, I didn’t let everything (hamburger, baked beans and barbeque sauce) come to a boil, just a dull simmer.

Here’s where the undomesticated part of myself comes in. I don’t know what a 2-quart casserole dish looks like. So, I just went with the biggest one I could find it my kitchen cabinet. Worked out just fine.

Instead of doing 12 small spoonfuls of dough, I did six larger ones.  Everyone likes big biscuits, not small ones, common! 

Popped it in the oven til the dough had a nice golden brown top. Who pays attention to time, anyway??

Almost done! Waiting around gets so boring when you’re cooking for one, I know. Once the biscuits were to my liking, I removed the casserole from the oven and applied the cheese, unsparingly.  I don’t recall even measuring out the amount the recipe called for. Another rebel without a cause moment.

Put those suckers back in the oven for about three minutes, just enough time for the cheese to melt and make sweet cheesy biscuit love. For those three minutes, I heated up some green beans for a side.

Ta-dah! Finished, hot and ready to eat.

Final thoughts: I felt like this was more of a mans dish. It was super yummy, but way too much food for one, obviously! Mashed potatoes would have been a fantastic side, along with an ice cold Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Much love, ‘til next time!

Vegetarian Grilled(ish) Pizza with Tofu!

We wanted something simple for our first meal, and pizza’s pretty simple, right?! (If you’re impatient, this may not be the perfect recipe for you. It only took us no more than an hour and fifteen minutes, including prep time.)

So, here’s where we got the idea and the basis for the recipe. And then we changed it up. And here’s just about everything you’ll need:

First, we haven’t ever used a grill before. Thankfully, Jess’ mother had a skillet/grill type thing. It looks like this:

Basically, we just followed step by step. Starting with the dough.

We’ve never even made dough before, we’re all about the Pillsbury dough boy. You know, the prepackaged stuff?

And we learned what “turning out dough” was (by going here) we did just that!

The recipe calls for you to continue “turning out the dough” for about ten minutes, we lasted five. Turned out fine in our eyes.  Now, cover your dough and let it rise somewhere warm, we chose to let it float in warm water, in the kitchen sink.

Alright, while this was sitting for what seemed like FOREVER (forty-five minutes) we began making the sauce.  We changed things up again. The recipe calls for a can of plum tomatoes, HUGE tomatoes. Being the bad-asses that we are, we cut those suckers up.

(See, we told you, HUGE.)
We were supposed to let this simmer for half an hour, which ended up being closer to an hour. If you’re expecting some super thick sauce, it ain’t happening! But, let it sit there for awhile. Move on to the peppers.

Since Jessica is incapable of cutting through a pepper without chopping her finger off, Avery was the designated pepper cutter.

Jess bought two huge peppers, we ate half of them in the process of cooking. Snacking on the job.

Tinkerbell bowl full of sweet, yummy, pepper-bliss.

Okay, so we started grilling up the peppers. The whole house smelled absolutely amazing!

So pause in the action now. Let the records show by now we killed half of a bottle of Yellow Tail Pinot Grigio, as seen below… (whoops!)

Alright, we can move forward now. It seemed like a good forty-five minutes went by.. The recipe says to stick your finger in the dough, if the indention stays, the dough has risen enough. We succeeded!!

We made six balls of doughy goodness and placed them on a bake sheet as told. We did pretty well at following instructions this far in!

The sauce is simmering, the dough has risen, and the tofu has been grated, it’s finally time to put it all together.  We took another hard left off of the regular recipe. Instead of adding toppings to the dough while on the griddle, we took them off and threw ‘em on a pan. We proceeded to load them up with the sauce, tofu, cheese and perfectly grilled peppers.

While we recognize that tofu is not a traditional food group, we went with it.

We then baked them at four-hundred degrees Fahrenheit for… well, quite frankly, we don’t know how long. Til they looked done.

When the cheese was melted to our satisfaction, we removed them. And that’s it! Voila!

Final thoughts with Jerry Springer, just kidding, it’s still just Jess and Avery. We were very weary about this, seeing as one, we’ve never cooked with tofu before. Two, we’ve never made anything from scratch, let alone a whole meal.  Over all, we rock. These mini pizzas were a total success. The wine is long gone, though. :( Bigger bottle next time!

Much love, ‘til next time!
Jess and Avery

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